https://blog.michaelsieler.comMichael Sieler's Blog - Posted in 20222022-08-08T20:20:49.562372+00:00ABloghttps://blog.michaelsieler.com/posts/welcome.htmlWelcome!2022-07-20T00:00:00+00:00Michael Sieler<div class="section" id="welcome">
<p>My name is Michael Sieler and welcome to my blog! I’ll be sharing more posts in the near future. Some topics I’ll cover are:</p>
<ul class="simple">
<li>My research
- The gut microbiome
- Using Zebrafish as a model organism</li>
<li>Personal projects
- Virtual Fish: an educational video game</li>
</ul>
<p>Stay tuned for more!</p>
</div>
My name is Michael Sieler and welcome to my blog! I’ll be sharing more posts in the near future. Some topics I’ll cover are:My research
- The gut microbiome
- Using Zebrafish as a model organism2022-07-20T00:00:00+00:00https://blog.michaelsieler.com/posts/SciWr_W1U1v1.htmlScientific Writing Coursera Course: Week 12022-07-21T00:00:00+00:00Michael Sieler<div class="section" id="scientific-writing-coursera-course-week-1">
<p>To improve my scientific writing skills, I’ve enrolled in a <a class="reference external" href="https://www.coursera.org/learn/sciwrite/home/welcome">Coursera course</a> taught by Dr. Kristin Sainani.</p>
<p>I’ll be sharing my notes, thoughts and writing exercises in a series of blog posts.</p>
<div class="section" id="week-1">
<h2>Week 1</h2>
<div class="section" id="video-1-1-introduction-principles-of-effective-writing">
<h3>Video 1.1: Introduction; Principles of effective writing</h3>
<div class="system-message">
<p class="system-message-title">System Message: WARNING/2 (<tt class="docutils">/home/docs/checkouts/readthedocs.org/user_builds/michaelsielerblog/checkouts/latest/posts/SciWr_W1U1v1.rst</tt>, line 20)</p>
<p>Title underline too short.</p>
<div class="highlight-default notranslate"><div class="highlight"><pre><span></span><span class="n">Video</span> <span class="mf">1.1</span><span class="p">:</span> <span class="n">Introduction</span><span class="p">;</span> <span class="n">Principles</span> <span class="n">of</span> <span class="n">effective</span> <span class="n">writing</span>
<span class="o">^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^</span>
</pre></div>
</div>
</div>
<p>Dr. Sainani introduced the course, gave an overview of the course material, and some brief principles of effective writing.</p>
</div>
<div class="section" id="video-1-2-examples-of-what-not-to-do">
<h3>Video 1.2: Examples of what not to do</h3>
<p>Questions to ask yourself:</p>
<ul class="simple">
<li>Is this sentence easy to understand?</li>
<li>Is this sentence enjoyable and interesting to read?</li>
</ul>
<div class="admonition note">
<p class="first admonition-title">Note</p>
<p class="last">Science should be enjoyable and fun to read!</p>
</div>
<p>More questions:</p>
<ul class="simple">
<li>Is this sentence readable?</li>
<li>Is it written to inform or to obscure?</li>
</ul>
<p>Nouns slow down reading, verbs activate reading.</p>
<ul class="simple">
<li>convert nouns to verbs when possible<ul>
<li>“Selection” to “select”</li>
<li>“production” to “to produce”</li>
<li>“recycling” to “to recycle”</li>
</ul>
</li>
</ul>
<p>Course Themes:</p>
<ul class="simple">
<li>Complex ideas don’t require complex language</li>
<li>Scientific writing should be easy and even enjoyable to read</li>
</ul>
</div>
<div class="section" id="video-1-3-overview-principles-of-effective-writing">
<h3>Video 1.3: Overview, principles of effective writing</h3>
<p><strong>Things to watch out for in your writing</strong></p>
<ul class="simple">
<li>Pay attention to vague words.</li>
<li>Physiologic? What exactly does this mean?</li>
<li>Molecular species? Which species?</li>
<li>Watch out for jargon. Simplify as much as possible.</li>
<li>Careful of acronyms and initialisms.<ul>
<li>Unless they are standard terms. Most readers won’t know what they mean</li>
</ul>
</li>
<li>Be mindful of using passive voice</li>
<li>Place verbs early on in sentence</li>
</ul>
<p><strong>Overview of specific principles of Writing</strong>
- Cut unncessary words and phrases; learn to part with your words
- Use the active voice (subject + verb + object)
- Write with verbs: use strong verbs, avoid turning burbs into nouns, and don’t bury the main verb</p>
</div>
<div class="section" id="video-1-4-cut-the-clutter">
<h3>Video 1.4: Cut the clutter</h3>
<p>Before:</p>
<blockquote>
<div>As it is well known, increased athletic activity has been related to a profile of lower cardiovascular risk, lower blood pressure levels, and improved muscular and cardio-respiratory performance.</div></blockquote>
<p>After:</p>
<blockquote>
<div>Increased athletic activity is associates with lower cardiovascular risk, blood pressure, and improves fitness.</div></blockquote>
<hr class="docutils" />
<p>Before</p>
<blockquote>
<div>The experimental demonstration is the first of its kind and is a proof of principle for the concept of laser driven particle acceleration in a structure loaded vacuum.</div></blockquote>
<p>After:</p>
<blockquote>
<div>This experiment provides a proof of principle of laser-driven particle acceleration in a structure-loaded vacuum.</div></blockquote>
<hr class="docutils" />
<p>Before:</p>
<blockquote>
<div>Brain injury incidence shows two peak periods in almost all reports: rates are the highest in young people and the elderly.</div></blockquote>
<p>After:</p>
<blockquote>
<div>Rates of brain injury incidence peaks in the young and the elderly.</div></blockquote>
<hr class="docutils" />
<p>Cut unnecessary words</p>
<ul class="simple">
<li>Be vigilant and ruthless</li>
<li>Try the sentence without the extra words and see how it’s better-conveys the same idea with more power.</li>
</ul>
<p>Common Clutter</p>
<ul class="simple">
<li>Dead weight words and phrases<ul>
<li>As it has been shown</li>
</ul>
</li>
<li>Empty words and phrases<ul>
<li>basic tenets of</li>
<li>methodologic</li>
<li>important</li>
</ul>
</li>
<li>Long words or phrases that could be short<ul>
<li>Muscular and cardiorespiratory performance</li>
<li>A majority of</li>
<li>Are of the same opinion</li>
<li>less frequently occurring</li>
<li>give rise to</li>
<li>due to the fact that</li>
<li>have an effect on</li>
</ul>
</li>
<li>Unnecessary Jargon and acronyms<ul>
<li>Muscular and cardiorespiratory performance</li>
<li>Gliomagensis</li>
<li>miR</li>
</ul>
</li>
<li>Repetitive words or phrases<ul>
<li>studies/examples</li>
<li>illustrate/demonstrate</li>
<li>challenges/difficulties</li>
<li>successful solutions</li>
</ul>
</li>
<li>Adverbs<ul>
<li>very, really, quite, basically, generally, etc.</li>
</ul>
</li>
</ul>
<hr class="docutils" />
<p>Before</p>
<blockquote>
<div>The expected prevalence of mental retardation, based on the assumption that intelligence is normally distributed is about 2.5%.</div></blockquote>
<p>After</p>
<blockquote>
<div>If intelligence is normally distributed, the expected prevalence of mental retardation is about 2.5%</div></blockquote>
<hr class="docutils" />
<p>Before</p>
<blockquote>
<div>A robust cell-mediated immune response is necessary, and deficiency in this response predisposes an individual towards active TB.</div></blockquote>
<p>After</p>
<blockquote>
<div>Deficiency in T-cell-mediated immune response predisposes an individual to TB.</div></blockquote>
</div>
<hr class="docutils" />
<div class="section" id="video-1-5-cut-the-clutter-more-tricks">
<h3>Video 1.5: Cut the clutter, more tricks</h3>
<p>Eliminate negatives</p>
<ul class="simple">
<li>“She was not often right” to “She was usually wrong”</li>
<li>“She did not want to perform the experiment incorrectly” to “She wanted to perform the experiment correctly”</li>
<li>“They did not believe the drug was harmful” to “they believed the drug was safe”</li>
</ul>
<p>Eliminate there are/there is</p>
<ul class="simple">
<li>“There are many ways in which we can arrange the pulleys” to “We can arrange the pulleys in many ways”</li>
<li>“There was a long line of bacteria on the plate” to “Bacteria lined the plate”</li>
<li>“There are many physicists that like to write” to “Many physicists like to write”</li>
<li>“The data confirm that there is an association between vegetables and cancer” to “The data confirm an association between vegetables and cancer”</li>
</ul>
<p>Omit needless prepositions</p>
<ul class="simple">
<li>“The meeting happened on Monday” to “The meeting happened Monday”</li>
<li>“They agreed that it was true” to “They agreed it was true.”</li>
</ul>
<p><strong>Text of practice exercises for Module 1.6:</strong></p>
<p>Before</p>
<blockquote>
<div>Anti-inflammatory drugs may be protective for the occurrence of Alzheimer’s Disease.</div></blockquote>
<p>After</p>
<blockquote>
<div>Anti-inflammatory drugs may protect against Alzheimer’s Disease.</div></blockquote>
<hr class="docutils" />
<p>Before</p>
<blockquote>
<div>Clinical seizures have been estimated to occur in 0.5% to 2.3% of the neonatal population.</div></blockquote>
<p>After</p>
<blockquote>
<div>Clinical seizures occur between 0.5% and 2.3% of newborns.</div></blockquote>
<hr class="docutils" />
<p>Before</p>
<blockquote>
<div>Ultimately p53 guards not only against malignant transformation but also plays a role in developmental processes as diverse as aging, differentiation, and fertility.</div></blockquote>
<p>After</p>
<blockquote>
<div>Besides preventing cancer, P53 also plays roles in aging, differentiation, and fertility.</div></blockquote>
<hr class="docutils" />
<p>Before</p>
<blockquote>
<div>Injuries to the brain and spinal cord have long been known to be among the most devastating and expensive of all injuries to treat medically.</div></blockquote>
<p>After</p>
<blockquote>
<div>Injuries to the brain and spinal cord are among the most devastating and expensive.</div></blockquote>
<hr class="docutils" />
<p>Before</p>
<blockquote>
<div>An IQ test measures an individual’s abilities to perform functions that usually fall in the domains of verbal communication, reasoning, and performance on tasks that represent motor and spatial capabilities.</div></blockquote>
<p>After</p>
<blockquote>
<div>An IQ test measures an individual’s verbal communication, reasoning, or motor and spatial capabilities.</div></blockquote>
<hr class="docutils" />
<p>Before</p>
<blockquote>
<div>As we can see from Figure 2, if the return kinetic energy is less than 3.2 Up, there will be two electron trajectories associated with this kinetic energy.</div></blockquote>
<p>After</p>
<blockquote>
<div>Figure 2 shows that a return kinetic energy lower than 3.2 Up yields two electron trajectories.</div></blockquote>
</div>
</div>
<hr class="docutils" />
</div>
To improve my scientific writing skills, I’ve enrolled in a Coursera course taught by Dr. Kristin Sainani.I’ll be sharing my notes, thoughts and writing exercises in a series of blog posts.2022-07-21T00:00:00+00:00https://blog.michaelsieler.com/posts/SciWr_W2.htmlScientific Writing Coursera Course: Week 22022-07-25T00:00:00+00:00Michael Sieler<div class="section" id="scientific-writing-coursera-course-week-2">
<div class="section" id="previous-week-review">
<h2>Previous Week Review</h2>
<p>Last week, I started the Coursera course Writing in the Sciences, and <a class="reference external" href="SciWr_W1U1v1.html">blogging</a> about the course. The first week covered “decluttering” our writing:</p>
<ul class="simple">
<li>Pay attention to vague words</li>
<li>Watch out for jargon. Simplify as much as possible</li>
<li>Careful of acronyms and initialisms</li>
<li>Be mindful of using passive voice</li>
<li>Place verbs early on in sentence</li>
</ul>
<p>Week 2 will build off of these lessons and focus on using verbs more effectively.</p>
</div>
<div class="section" id="week-2">
<h2>Week 2</h2>
<div class="section" id="overview">
<h3>Overview</h3>
<ul class="simple">
<li>Active voice</li>
<li>Writing with verbs
- Strong verbs
- Avoiding turning verbs into nouns
- Sentence subjects and verbs close to one another</li>
</ul>
</div>
<div class="section" id="video-2-1-use-the-active-voice">
<h3>Video 2.1: Use the active voice</h3>
<p><strong>What is the active voice?</strong></p>
<p>Follows the format: subject + verb + object.</p>
<ul class="simple">
<li>She throws the ball.<ul>
<li>Agent: she</li>
<li>Verb: throws</li>
<li>Recipient: the ball</li>
</ul>
</li>
<li>Martha will drive the car.</li>
<li>He made mistakes.</li>
</ul>
<p><strong>What is the passive voice?</strong></p>
<p>The passive voice inverts the agent/recipient relationship:</p>
<ul class="simple">
<li>The ball is thrown by her.<ul>
<li>Recipient: ball</li>
<li>Verb: thrown</li>
<li>Agent: her</li>
</ul>
</li>
<li>The car will be driven by Martha.</li>
<li>Mistakes were made by The President.</li>
</ul>
<p>The agent can be obscured in passive voice by dropping it entirely, for example:</p>
<ul class="simple">
<li>Mistakes were made [by The President]</li>
</ul>
<p><strong>Recognizing a passive verb</strong></p>
<ul class="simple">
<li>Passive verb = a form of the verb “to be” + the past participle of the main verb</li>
<li>The main verb must be a transitive verb (that is, take an object).</li>
</ul>
<p><strong>Examples of passive voice</strong></p>
<ul class="simple">
<li>My first visit to Boston will always be remembered by me.<ul>
<li>Recipient: my first visit to Boston</li>
<li>Passive verb: will always be</li>
<li>Agent: me (at the end of the sentence)</li>
<li>Active: I will always remember my first visit to Boston.</li>
</ul>
</li>
<li>She is loved<ul>
<li>Recipient: She</li>
<li>Passive verb: is loved</li>
<li>Agent: none</li>
<li>Active: He loves her.</li>
</ul>
</li>
<li>Cigarette ads were designed to appeal especially to children.<ul>
<li>Recipient: children</li>
<li>Passive verb: were designed</li>
<li>Agent: none</li>
<li>Active: We designed the cigarette ads to appeal especially to children.<ul>
<li>“We” is now the agent, the responsibile party.</li>
</ul>
</li>
</ul>
</li>
</ul>
<p><strong>Turning passive into active</strong></p>
<p>To turn the passive back into the active voice, you need to identify the agent, recipient and verb.
- Who does what to whom?</p>
<blockquote>
<div><ul class="simple">
<li>Who does the action? Who had the action done to them?</li>
</ul>
</div></blockquote>
<div class="section" id="practice">
<h4>Practice:</h4>
<p>By applying a high resolution, 90 degree bending magnet downstream of the laser electron interaction region, the spectrum of the electron beams <em>could be observed</em>.</p>
<ul class="simple">
<li>Agent: none<ul>
<li>Add “We could observe” to the front of the sentence.</li>
</ul>
</li>
<li>verb: could be observed</li>
<li>Recipient: the spectrum of the electron beams</li>
</ul>
<hr class="docutils" />
<p>Increased promoter occupancy and transcriptional activation of p21 and other target genes were observed.</p>
<ul class="simple">
<li>Agent: none<ul>
<li>Add “We observed” to the front of the sentence.</li>
</ul>
</li>
<li>verb: were observed</li>
<li>Recipient: Increased promoter occupancy and transcriptional activation of p21 and other target genes</li>
</ul>
<hr class="docutils" />
<p>The activation of C++ channels is induced by the depletion of endoplasmic reticulum Ca++ stores.</p>
<ul class="simple">
<li>Agent: endoplasmic reticulum Ca++ stores</li>
<li>verb: is induced</li>
<li>Recipient: Ca++ channels</li>
<li>Active: Depleted endoplasmic reticulum Ca++ stores induce Ca++ channel activation.<ul>
<li>Better: Depleting Ca++ from the endoplasmic reticulum activates Ca++ channels</li>
</ul>
</li>
</ul>
<hr class="docutils" />
<p>Additionally, it was found that pre-treatment with antibiotics increased the number of super-shedders, while immunosuppression did not.</p>
<ul class="simple">
<li>Agent: Pre-treatment with antibiotics</li>
<li>verb: increased</li>
<li>Recipient: super-shedders</li>
<li>Active: We found that pre-treatment with antibiotics increased the number of super-sheddres, while immunosuppresion did not.<ul>
<li>Better: Pre-treating the mice with antibiotics increased the number of super-shedders while immunosuppresion did not.</li>
</ul>
</li>
</ul>
</div>
<hr class="docutils" />
<div class="section" id="advantages-of-the-active-voice">
<h4>Advantages of the active voice</h4>
<ol class="arabic simple">
<li>Emphasizes author responsibility</li>
<li>Improves readability</li>
<li>Reduces ambiguity</li>
</ol>
<p><strong>1) Emphasizes author responsibility</strong></p>
<ul class="simple">
<li>Passive: No attempt <em>was made</em> to contact non-responders because they <em>were deemed</em> unimportant to the analysis.</li>
<li>Active: <em>We did not attempt</em> to contact non-responders because we deemed them unimportant to the analysis.</li>
</ul>
<p><strong>2) Improves readability</strong></p>
<ul class="simple">
<li>Passive: A strong correlation <em>was found</em> between use of the passive voice and other sins of writing.</li>
<li>Active: <em>We found</em> a strong correlation between use of the passive voice and other sins of writing.<ul>
<li>Better: Use of the passive voice strongly correlated with other sins of writing.</li>
</ul>
</li>
</ul>
<p><strong>3) Reduces ambiguity</strong></p>
<ul class="simple">
<li>Passive: General dysfunction of the immune system at leukocyte level <em>is suggested</em> by both animal and human studies.</li>
<li>Active: Both human and animal studies <em>suggest</em> that <strong>diabetics</strong> have general immune dysfunction at the leukocyte level.</li>
</ul>
</div>
<div class="section" id="when-to-use-passive-voice">
<h4>When to use passive voice</h4>
<p>The passive voice works well for when you want to emphasize <em>what</em> was done and not <em>who</em> did it. For example, method sections are an appropriate place for passive voice.</p>
</div>
</div>
<div class="section" id="video-2-2-is-it-really-ok-to-use-we-and-i">
<h3>Video 2.2: Is it really OK to use “We” and “I”</h3>
<p>Yes, it’s okay to use personal pronouns in scientific writing.</p>
<ul class="simple">
<li>The active voice is livelier and easer to read.</li>
<li>Avoiding personal pronouns does not make your science more objective<ul>
<li>You and your team designed, conducted, and interpreted the experiments. To imply otherwise is misleading.</li>
</ul>
</li>
<li>Journal editors explicitly instruct authors to write in the active voice.</li>
</ul>
</div>
<div class="section" id="video-2-3-active-voice-practice">
<h3>Video 2.3: Active Voice Practice</h3>
<div class="section" id="practice-sentences">
<h4>Practice sentences:</h4>
<ul class="simple">
<li>Passive: A recommendation was made by the DSMB committee that the study be halted.</li>
<li>Active: The DSMB committee recommended the study be halted.</li>
</ul>
<hr class="docutils" />
<ul class="simple">
<li>Passive: Major differences in the reaction times of the two study subjects were found.</li>
<li>Active: We observed major differences in reaction times of the two study subjects.<ul>
<li>Alt: The two study subjects differed in reaction times.</li>
</ul>
</li>
</ul>
<hr class="docutils" />
<ul class="simple">
<li>Passive: It was concluded by the editors that the data had been falsified by the authors.</li>
<li>Active: The editors concluded that the authors falsified their data.</li>
</ul>
<hr class="docutils" />
<ul class="simple">
<li>Passive: The first visible-light snapshot of a planet circling another star has been taken by NASA’s Hubble Space Telescope.</li>
<li>Active: NASA’s Hubble Space Telescope took the first visible-light snapshot of a planet circling another star.</li>
</ul>
<hr class="docutils" />
<ul class="simple">
<li>Passive: Therefore, the hypothesis that the overall kinetics of a double transtibial amputee athlete and an able-bodied sprinter at the same level of performance are not different was rejected.</li>
<li>Active: We reject the hypothesis that the overall kinetics of a double transtibial amputee athlete and an able-bodied sprinter at the same level of performance are not different<ul>
<li>Alt: We reject the hypothesis that the overall kinetics of a double transtibial are <em>comparable</em> between an amputee athlete and an able-bodied sprinter at the same level of performance.</li>
</ul>
</li>
</ul>
</div>
</div>
<hr class="docutils" />
<div class="section" id="video-2-4-write-with-verbs">
<h3>Video 2.4: Write with verbs</h3>
<p><strong>Overview</strong></p>
<ul class="simple">
<li>Use strong verbs</li>
<li>Avoid turning verbs into nouns</li>
<li>Avoid burying the main verb</li>
</ul>
<div class="section" id="use-strong-verbs">
<h4>1) Use Strong Verbs</h4>
<p><strong>Example:</strong></p>
<ul class="simple">
<li>Original: Loud music came from speakers embedded in the walls, and the entire arena moved as the hungry crowd got to its feet.</li>
<li>Improved: Loud music exploded from speakers embedded int he walls, and the entire arena shook as the hungry crowd leaped to its feet.</li>
</ul>
<p><strong>Pick the right verb:</strong></p>
<ul class="simple">
<li>“reports that approximately” to “estimates” or “projects”</li>
<li>“<em>estimates</em> that X will Y in the next 25 years” to “<em>projects</em> that X will Y in the next 25 years”</li>
</ul>
<p>Use “to be” verbs purposefully and sparingly. Try to substitute them with a stronger verb.</p>
</div>
<div class="section" id="don-t-turn-verbs-into-nouns">
<h4>2) Don’t turn verbs into nouns</h4>
<p><strong>Example:</strong></p>
<ul class="simple">
<li>Original: During DNA damage, <em>recognition</em> of H3K4me3 by ING2 results in <em>recruitment</em> of Sin3/HDAC and <em>repression</em> of cell proliferation genes.</li>
<li>Improved: During DNA damage, H3K4me3 <em>recruits</em> ING2 and Sin3/HDAC, which together <em>repress</em> cell proliferation genes.</li>
</ul>
<p><strong>More examples:</strong></p>
<ul class="simple">
<li>“Obtain estimates of” to “estimate”</li>
<li>“Has seen an expansion in” to “has expanded”</li>
<li>“Provides a methodologic emphasi”s to “emphasizes methodology”</li>
<li>“Take an assessment of” to “assess”</li>
<li>“Provide a review of” to “review”</li>
<li>“Offer confirmation of” to “confirm”</li>
<li>“Make a decision” to “decide”</li>
<li>“Shows a peak” to “peaks”</li>
<li>“Provide a description of” to “describe”</li>
</ul>
</div>
<div class="section" id="don-t-bury-the-main-verb">
<h4>3) Don’t bury the main verb</h4>
<p>Keep the subject and main verb (predicate) close together at the start of the sentence.</p>
<p>Example:</p>
<ul class="simple">
<li><strong>One study</strong> of 930 adults with multiple sclerosis (MS) receiving care in one of two managed care settings or in a fee-for-service setting <strong>found that</strong> only two-thirds of those needing to contact a neurologist for an MS-related problem in the prior 6 months had done so (Vickrey et al 1999).<ul>
<li>Recipient: two-thirds of those…</li>
<li>Verb: found that</li>
<li>Agent: One study</li>
<li>Improvement: One study found that, of …</li>
</ul>
</li>
</ul>
</div>
</div>
<div class="section" id="video-2-5-practice-examples">
<h3>Video 2.5: Practice Examples</h3>
<p><strong>Examples:</strong></p>
<ul class="simple">
<li>The fear expressed by some teachers that students would not learn statistics well if they were permitted to use canned computer programs has not been realized in our experience. A careful monitoring of achievement levels before and after the introduction of computers in the teaching of our course revealed no appreciable change in students’ performances.</li>
<li>Improvement: Many teachers feared that the use of canned computer programs would prevent students from learnign statistics. We monitored student achievement levels before and after the introduction of computers in our course and found no detriments in performance.</li>
</ul>
<hr class="docutils" />
<ul class="simple">
<li>Review of each center’s progress in recruitment is important to ensure that the cost involved in maintaining each center’s participation is worthwhile.</li>
<li>Improvement: It is important to review each center’s recruitment progress to ensure maintaining each center’s participation is a worthwhile cost.<ul>
<li>Better: We should review each center’s recruitment progress to make sure its continued participation is cost-effective.</li>
</ul>
</li>
</ul>
<hr class="docutils" />
<ul class="simple">
<li>It should be emphasized that these proportions generally are not the result of significant increases in moderate and severe injuries, but in many instances reflect mildly injured persons not being seen at a hospital.</li>
<li>Improvement: These proportions reflect mildly injured persons not being seen at a hospital, rather than significant increases in moderate and severe injuries.<ul>
<li>Better: Shifting proportions in injury severity may reflect stricter hospital admission criteria rather than true increases in moderate and severe injuries.</li>
</ul>
</li>
</ul>
<hr class="docutils" />
<ul class="simple">
<li>Important studies to examine the descriptive epidemiology of autism, including the prevalence and changes in the characteristics of the population over time, have begun.</li>
<li>Improvement: Important studies have begun examining the descriptive epidemiology of autisim, including the prevalence and changes in characteristics of the population over time.<ul>
<li>Better: Studies have begun to describe the epidemiology of autism, including recent changes in the disorder’s prevalence and characteristics.</li>
</ul>
</li>
</ul>
<hr class="docutils" />
<ul class="simple">
<li>There are multiple other mechanisms that are important, but most of them are suspected to only have a small impact or are only important because of impact on one of the three primary mechanisms.</li>
<li>Improvement: Multiple other mechanisms play only a small role or work by impacting one of the three primary mechanisms.</li>
</ul>
<hr class="docutils" />
<ul class="simple">
<li>After rejecting paths with poor signal-to-noise ratios, we were left with 678 velocity measurements of waves with 7.5 seconds period and 891 measurements of 15 second waves.</li>
<li>Improvement: Rejecting paths with poor signal-to-noise ratios left 678 velocity measures of 7.5 second waves and 891 15 second waves.</li>
</ul>
</div>
<div class="section" id="video-2-6-a-few-grammar-tips">
<h3>Video 2.6: A few grammar tips</h3>
<ol class="arabic simple">
<li>“Data are” not “Data is”<ul>
<li>There word data is plural</li>
</ul>
</li>
<li>Affect (verb) vs. effect (noun)</li>
<li>“Compared to” vs. “compared with”<ul>
<li>Compare to: to point out similarities between different things</li>
<li>Compare with: to point out differences between similar things</li>
</ul>
</li>
<li>That vs. which</li>
</ol>
<blockquote>
<div><ul class="simple">
<li>“That” is the restrictive (defining) pronoun. The essential clause cannot be eliminated without changing the meaning of the sentence.<ul>
<li>“The vial that contained her RNA was lost</li>
</ul>
</li>
<li>“Which” is the nonrestrictive (non-defining) pronoun. The non-essential clause can be eliminated without altering the basic meaning of the sentence (and must be set off by commas).<ul>
<li>“The vial, which contained her RNA, was lost”</li>
</ul>
</li>
<li>Other disorders that have been found to co-occur with diabetes include heart disease and foot problems.</li>
</ul>
</div></blockquote>
<ol class="arabic simple" start="5">
<li>Singular antecedents (they or their)</li>
</ol>
<div class="system-message">
<p class="system-message-title">System Message: INFO/1 (<tt class="docutils">/home/docs/checkouts/readthedocs.org/user_builds/michaelsielerblog/checkouts/latest/posts/SciWr_W2.rst</tt>, line 10)</p>
Enumerated list start value not ordinal-1: “5” (ordinal 5)</div>
<blockquote>
<div><ul class="simple">
<li>Do not use “they” or “their” when the subject is singular. To avoid gender choice, turn to a plural.<ul>
<li>Each student worries about <em>their</em> grades.</li>
</ul>
</li>
</ul>
</div></blockquote>
</div>
<div class="section" id="summary">
<h3>Summary</h3>
<p>Using active instead of passive voice and improving our use of verbs can enhance our writing. Active voice demonstrates responsibility and can improve our writing by making it more direct. Strong verbs spice up our otherwise boring sentences. Swapping nouns with verbs speeds up the sentence. Burying verbs at the end of a sentence can result in the reader losing track of what’s happening in the sentence.</p>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Last week, I started the Coursera course Writing in the Sciences, and blogging about the course. The first week covered “decluttering” our writing:Pay attention to vague words2022-07-25T00:00:00+00:00